Iíve been getting heaps of comments recently about how awesome I am achieving all these goals and getting all this shit done.
Donít get me wrong Ė Iím super flattered that there are people out there, people who I look up to, who think that Iím awesome. But you know whatÖI have days, lots of them, where I donít think Iím very awesome at all. I have days where I actually donít get any shit done and just feel like shit.
Yesterday was a shit day. And I would like to share a little bit of ďrealismĒ with everyone.
So yesterday was shit. I had declined an invitation to a picnic because I had a very full to do list. I really really really wanted to get some shit done so that I wasnít working too much over the long weekend. Yet here I sit, on a Saturday afternoon, working. In the hopes that I can get through my list and take some time off tomorrow.
The day started as it usually does. We got up out of bed a little after 6.30am. I made the kids some weet-bix and myself a coffee. They ate while I had my coffee and did a quick facebook check while I waited for the coffee to kick in. The kids always finish their breakfast before I finish my coffee. And yesterday morning was no different. But instead of just watching TV or playing I had Mr 2 come and try and climb me, while Ms 3 whinged. A lot. I yelled. A lot. You know a dayís going to be bad when you are already yelling and banishing kids to their room before youíve even finished your coffee.
I managed to get everyone to chill for long enough to have a shower. I then made breakfast for me and second breakfast for the kids. Got my office opened up and computer switched on. Then my morning was spent up and down from my office to inside to respond to yells and screams. Books were tipped off the bookshelf and thrown all over the floor. A box of books was dumped in the hallway. Getting up to breastfeed every few minutes. The hitting, yelling and hair pulling.
Chances are that the woman you think has got her shit together has just had to pick up a box of books and wipe strawberry yoghurt off one person and several pieces of furniture. Image courtesy of Google images. Facebook meme.
I thought the kids just needed a chance to run off some energy outside so I sent them out to play. I was then getting up every few minutes to rescue the dude out of the cubby house, get him out of the garden or off the car and had to remind the kids to play where I could see them so many times that I considered that a disaster.
By lunchtime I had crossed one thing off my list. Yep Ė it literally took me all morning to send an e-mail to a tea maker to order some tea.
By the end of the afternoon strawberry yoghurt had been rubbed into: dudeís legs, the couch and my brand new cushions. The couch had also succumbed to a dose of hummus. There was popcorn everywhere. Dude had climbed on the kitchen table and thrown everything onto the floor Ė including my doula bag full of those items that I might need in the likely event that my client goes into labour. The kids had each been sent to their room so many times I lost count. At some point I realised that I was not going to be making any dinner.
I did manage to cross 2 more things off my list in the afternoon. But have so many carry overís that the weekendís list has jumped from 7 items to 12. At the end of the day we had pizza for dinner. Put the 3 year old to bed and watched some NCIS. I felt so dejected about the lack of shit that got done. And wondered why Iím the only one who canít get shit done with kids around. I see so many women who are so successful and their kids just seem to play nicely and be good and they can switch from mum to business woman in the blink of an eye.
I had to remind myself that it was just one day.
Next time you are feeling bad, just remember that one bad day doesnít make you a bad person / parent. And just because some days are shit doesnít mean that you canít get shit done. You might just have to reassess what shit you want to get done at that time.
LOL Do you follow me? Because I love that I have someone so dedicated to reading and commenting on all my articles!
Absolutely everyone has hardships - many women find that they can't share them because they are afraid of exactly the feedback that you have just given me. Luckily I don't believe in belittling others for sharing their hardships. I believe in reminding them that one bad day doesn't make them a bad person...or an incompetent parent.
Much love to you LeeMr. - PS: I love your name - I always see it an think of lemurs - the really cute Madagascan animals. Imagining someone says these things in a King Julian voice really takes the sting out. x
I have no trouble sharing my hardships as a woman, but I'm accountable for which ones are of my own making. I'm not looking for a medal for bringing up my child. If you had at 3 children, that was your joyous decision. I'm tired of women like you making us all sound like chronic victims. I can look after myself thanks.