"I'm offended by this topic, so nobody can talk about it."
Makes me laugh. Every time. Nobody actually says that, but that's pretty much the underlying message of most of the comments I receive.
As part of my work as a moderator of the new (but elite!) birth activism group (Birthing Revolutions Australia), I sometimes find myself joining some pretty mainstream groups.
Before I go any further, if you haven't heard about the revolutionaries........... You should check that out.
I see the same tired old arguments flare up over and over again because someone gets offended by the facts. Me talking about breastfeeding isn't the same as attacking your motherliness, because you're not breastfeeding.
I've exclusively formula fed, and exclusively breastfed. Don't hang your hangups on me, people. If something I'm saying is triggering a response of guilt or anger, you should probably deal with that, instead of derailing interesting discussions and hindering the free exchange of ideas.
Breastfeeding is just one example of a hot button for inciting people's craziness.
I'm going to be honest. I don't usually enjoy my time in mainstream groups. No, not because I view them as inferior or because I'm too cool for school. (I hate to disappoint you!) Because they're oppressive and stifling to my unique weirdness.
Here's my theory. In any crowded room, you might find a handful of like-minded people. So if the room is labelled 'cake haters support group' (it could be a thing.) does that mean I should not enter, based solely on my cake-loving status??
It's true, I love cake. Maybe there are others, who secretly love cake, too..... and they're wondering where all the cake is at. Shouldn't I go in there? I have cake. I just want to go in there and get my buddies, and show them where the cake is at.
Curiosity, and all that?
Sharing is caring!
But the type of person who busts into a random group which contradicts their beliefs just to cause a ruckus, that's a troll.
Why? Because intent is very important here. It's not so much actions you should be judging. It's intent. There are probably only three different ways any normal personality can translate on the internet.
1. Total idiot
2. Total asshole
3. Decent human being
That's it! Things get a lot simpler when you scroll through virtual life with this filter. "All that matters is a healthy baby!" (Asshole. Idiot.) See, it's easy.
I'll get to the point though, shall I?
Enlightenment is a destructive process. Think about any time in the past you've learned something life-changing. It was likely a realization so powerful, that your previous beliefs and values have been challenged.
That's never a comfortable or easy experience. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. (And all that jazz.) It sucks to look back and feel like you might have behaved like an idiot. But we all have.
I kid you not- there was this one time, that I was wrong.
We're all born idiots, until we learn to be decent human beings. Or assholes! The woman who gets flamed for talking about the benefits of long term breastfeeding........................ She's the messenger. I've seen many of them shot down just because they spoke the truth.
It doesn't matter if you're diplomatic. There will always be someone there ready to stand up and whine: "What about ME? That offends ME. Therefore, you should feel guilty."
Just because you're offended, that doesn't mean anybody is obliged to give a shit.
I hate to break it to you- but being a part of the majority doesn't automatically make you right. And being offended doesn't give you the right to go around shooting messengers.
It's a huge cop-out to cry discrimination when you outnumber your target. I use the word target because that's how those who dare to go against the grain are treated. Like targets.
"Oh look, Sally. There's another one of those uppity chicks who thinks she can do what she wants. Fuck that. Get my stilettos. I'm going over there!"
Poor Sally and friend. They're obviously idiots.
I'm not sure exactly where this idea that a person who is offended, whether rightly or wrongly, is entitled to veto any topic of discussion merely based on their comfort levels.
Sounds a lot like fascism to me.
Nobody hassles the nice lady who doesn't question and follows standard advice. But give even a hint that you might engage your brain- and prepare to taste the wrath of a thousand angry................. idiots, who feel their ignorance excuses them from the reality that- nobody gives a fuck if they're offended.
Sorry. Not sorry.
Nobody gives a... if I'm offended when they tell me that waking up from a coma 'wasn't as bad as I'm making out'.
I don't recall the hospital giving a.... that I wrote a badass letter of complaint about a particular obstetrician's lack of decency. (total asshole.)
So if I don't get to wield my sense of personal discomfort as a weapon- why should anybody else?
Definitely not Sally and her random friend who has no name. She doesn't need a name. You catch my drift.
This is why I continue to offer cake wherever I go, because you just never know where you might find someone looking for a slice of sweet reality. Say what you want, I'm pretty sure I don't care.
Damn. That's some tasty truth for you right there.