Last week I went to a restaurant for dinner. Being a vegetarian, I ordered a vegetarian burger. When I placed my order, the waiter scoffed at me, saying “ohh you’re one of THOSE people are you”.
The waiter brought me a glass of water and I noticed that there was lipstick on it from the previous customer. The fork had a piece of rice stuck between the prongs.

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It was over forty minutes before they brought my burger and when it arrived it was cold in the middle but the bun was burnt. Although the menu had listed a number of ingredients, what I received did not have any of them, it was completely different.
When I took a bite I discovered that my burger was actually beef, not vegetarian. I felt physically ill. I left the restaurant, and I refused to pay them after the appalling service. The next day I called and spoke to the manager and made a complaint. The manager was rude, and defensive, my complaint was completely ignored.
People would be outraged if a restaurant did this. No one - other than the manager - would tell me it hadn’t happened.
Last week I went to hospital to give birth. I had thoroughly researched and planned a drug free water birth. When I arrived the nurse took my birth plan, and read through it quickly. Then she rolled her eyes at me and said “ohh you’re one of THOSE women are you”.
I was taken to labour and delivery and assigned to a room with a bed and a chair. I was expecting a birthing tub and I chosen this hospital because it was something they said they provided. Apparently they only had one though, and it was being used by another woman.
After settling in and labouring for a while I decided that I needed water so I buzzed for the nurses. It was forty-five minutes before anyone responded, and they told me that I was not able to drink anything, then proceeded to set up IV fluid - something I specifically said I did not want in my plan but I was afraid of becoming dehydrated so I consented.
It took the nurse half an hour to finally place the IV but an hour later we realised it had been incorrectly placed and the fluid was going into my tissue My arm was terribly swollen.
My husband inflated our birth ball and I sat on it for a little while until the doctor came in and insisted that I labour on the bed only. I asked why, and she told me that it was just hospital policy. Labouring on the bed increased the pain of the contractions so much, and I was unable to move to help myself cope.
The only time I left the bed was to go to the toilet. When I went I discovered that there was someone else’s blood in it.
Eventually I requested an epidural - something I had NOT wanted at all - and it took about three hours for them to organise the anaesthetist. By the time they arrived it was too late, and in a great panic they threw me onto my back and ordered me to push. The room filled with people I didn’t know, and they all watched my baby emerging. I thought there was something wrong, but later they told me it was normal to have extra staff on hand for the birth.
I requested that the cord be left to pulse but the doctor - who I had never met - severed it instantly, stating that it was hospital policy, and they don’t follow birth plans. After that they all congratulated each other on a job well done and left the room.
I wrote a letter to complain. Months later a meeting was arranged between me and the hospital liaison officer. At the meeting my concerns were dismissed. I was told that a healthy baby was their main goal, and that I didn’t have a valid complaint.
When hospitals do this to women, everyone is outraged … at the woman for daring to voice her
unmet expectations. Ironically, if a restaurant behaved like a hospital, it would go out of business. We have to wonder if hospitals will eventually do themselves out of the maternity business as well.
PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL RECOUNT OF A BIRTH, IT IS A MISMATCH OF MANY STORIES. FOR PERSONAL ACCOUNTS OF BIRTHS LIKE THIS PLEASE SEE OUR GO IN PUSHING SERIES, LINKED BELOW
Birth Trauma Explained For Fathers
You are NOT CRAZY, You are Traumatised
Go In Pushing - It's Not a VBAC Birth Plan
Denial of Obstetric Violence Ends Today
Maternal Assisted Caesarean - is it the solution we are seeking??
What to Say to a Woman with Birth Trauma

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